Esther Perel's Rituals for Connection and Presence
Periodic Table of Habits
Filters & Legend
Impact:
Effort:
Category:
Impact
High
Medium
Low
Effort
High
Medium
Low
Categories
Low Effort
Medium Effort
High Effort
High Impact
4
Tr
Transition ritual activation
1
Mg
Morning grounding ritual
3
Wl
Weekly lunch dates
7
Wb
Work-life boundary markers
10
Cc
Curiosity cultivation loops
6
Al
Active listening immersion
8
Bc
Breakup ceremony design
Medium Impact
2
Sp
Shared playlist creation
5
Pc
Private communication channels
9
Ri
Reality integration practice
Low Impact
No low effort habits
No medium effort habits
No high effort habits
Morning grounding ritual
Impact:
Effort:
#Health
Begin each day with feet planted on the floor, deep breathing exercises, and chest-opening movements to create physical awareness and mental spaciousness. This practice establishes intentionality before engaging with daily tasks.
Shared playlist creation
Impact:
Effort:
#Connections
Collaboratively curate music collections that represent relationship milestones or shared interests. These auditory timelines serve as living archives of connection that partners can expand over time.
Weekly lunch dates
Impact:
Effort:
#Connections
Schedule midday meetings with partners when both individuals are alert and present. These daylight interactions prioritize quality connection over evening exhaustion.
Transition ritual activation
Impact:
Effort:
#Productivity
Use specific actions like changing clothes or lighting candles to demarcate shifts between roles (e.g., professional to parent). Physical markers help psychologically compartmentalize different life domains.
Private communication channels
Impact:
Effort:
#Connections
Maintain separate messaging platforms exclusively for romantic exchanges, distinct from practical household coordination. This preserves space for intimacy amid logistical conversations.
Active listening immersion
Impact:
Effort:
#Connections
Practice full attention during conflicts without formulating responses. Focus on mirroring the partner's perspective before introducing personal interpretations.
Work-life boundary markers
Impact:
Effort:
#Productivity
Establish physical and temporal separations between professional/personal spheres through rituals like shutting office doors or changing outfits. These concrete actions prevent role contamination.
Breakup ceremony design
Impact:
Effort:
#Growth
Create intentional rituals to process relationship endings, like revisiting meaningful locations or hosting closure gatherings. These structured goodbyes prevent emotional limbo.
Reality integration practice
Impact:
Effort:
#Growth
Openly discuss personal struggles during professional interactions when appropriate. This vulnerability models authentic human complexity across life domains.
Curiosity cultivation loops
Impact:
Effort:
#Connections
Regularly explore new aspects of long-term partners through planned adventures and spontaneous questioning. Maintain 'beginner's mind' to counteract assumption creep.