Ask a willing person you disagree with to lend a book; return it with thanks.
WhenOnce this week, if appropriate
“He sent it immediately, and I return'd it in about a week with another note, expressing strongly my sense of the favour.”
Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography, chapter X, in Frank Woodworth Pine ed. (1916); events c.1736; retrospective manuscript written 1771–1790. Read the source ↗
Why it works
Franklin reports that a book loan preceded a warmer relationship. One anecdote is no guarantee and does not prove a universal psychological effect.
Start tiny
Choose a book and draft a respectful request in 90 seconds.
What you’ll notice
Notice whether you can make a small exchange without reopening the argument.
When it slips
Do not use the favor as a trick or a demand. If unwelcome, stop.
Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography, chapter X, in Frank Woodworth Pine ed. (1916); events c.1736; retrospective manuscript written 1771–1790. Read the source ↗
Challenge: A bounded mission with a clear finish. It can combine practices over days or weeks.
