Ask for an example of overbearing speech; turn it into a rule and review weekly.
WhenWeekly conversation review
“My list of virtues contain'd at first but twelve; but a Quaker friend having kindly informed me that I was generally thought proud; that my pride show'd itself frequently in conversation; that I was not content with being in the right when discussing any point, but was overbearing, and rather insolent, of which he convinc'd me by mentioning several instances; I determined endeavouring to cure myself, if I could, of this vice or folly among the rest, and I added Humility to my list, giving an extensive meaning to the word.”
Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography, chapter IX, in Frank Woodworth Pine ed. (1916); events adult life; retrospective manuscript written 1771–1790. Read the source ↗
Why it works
A Quaker friend supplied concrete instances, and Franklin added humility to his list and changed his phrasing. The example makes an abstract criticism actionable.
Start tiny
Recall one example and write one replacement phrase in 90 seconds.
What you’ll notice
Notice the same conversational move before it finishes.
When it slips
Do not ask for a verdict on your personality. Ask about one exchange and let the person decline.
Benjamin Franklin, Autobiography, chapter IX, in Frank Woodworth Pine ed. (1916); events adult life; retrospective manuscript written 1771–1790. Read the source ↗
Mastery: Practices you develop over weeks through skill, planning and trade-offs.
