Challenge
Change your part in one recurring argument
Whenyou both want to interrupt a familiar argument
Choose one low-stakes conflict and practice a different response you control.
- Window
- 14 days
- Mission steps
- When calm, agree a pause signal and a return time.
- Rehearse your replacement: a concrete request, calm restart or listening turn.
- Try it when the issue arises; review your own behavior together by day 14.
- Finish
- A rehearsal, any real attempts and a decision about what to keep.
- Adapt
- If no real conflict arises, rehearse again and review. Stop joint work if it feels unsafe.
Start tiny
Name your own recurring move, without diagnosing your partner.
SafetyIf you fear retaliation or feel unsafe, skip joint exercises and seek confidential individual support.
Evidence grade CPractitioner method or editorial idea
Zach Brittle, R is for Repair, The Gottman Institute. Read the source ↗ . Practitioner repair method. Parsons et al. (2020), How to Kiss and Make-Up (or Not!), Read the source ↗ , provides observational recovery context, not validation of this script.
Challenge: A bounded mission with an observable finish, supported by the practices you use.
